Random acts of violence

So I hear there is a woman who has killed her children again. Not that she killed them twice, but that the whole type of event has happened again. What is happening?! We started in the 1980's with Pat Sherrill the first postal worker to go nuts and start shooting. Since then all we have done is pick up steam. People shoot their co-workers, their ex after the divorce, their classmates. No place is immune. We had it happen right here in Knoxville when a loony walked into a church and opened fire.
I can remember talking about it in one of my seminary classes around 1992 and the professor (Glenn Stassen) was saying at that point he had been unable to find any instance of something like that happening in Europe. Well...it has happened since then. So what is going on in society to make people go so nuts that they think opening fire is any kind of alternative?
I can't say that I am entirely sure, but I think it has to do with our expectations of life being so different than life really is. Here's the thing. Life is hard. For some people life is awful...from the time they are born till the time they die all they know is hunger, violence, addiction, and abuse (think of say...a crack whore's baby). For other people born into more "normal" situations think of the rampant physical and sexual abuse that is more and more prevalent in society. Let's make it even more Beaver Cleaver than that. Let's take someone who grows up in a two parent family with 2.5 kids and a golden retriever.
Gotcha. That family doesn't exist. You can't have 2.5 kids. But there is this idealized standard somewhere in our subconscious that says we should be part of a normal family where life is easier than our life is. We see it in stories growing up. We watch it on television shows. We see families that look more appealing than ours in movies. We are bombarded with those same messages without mercy in advertising.
How can we get the message out that the make believe world isn't the real world? Maybe a reality TV show? Maybe we could follow around a "typical American family" and see how they live? Nah...that'd never work.
All the messages out there don't push us all over the limit. I'm not saying they do and I don't know anyone who is saying they do. I think they do help push some people over the limit. Those who are already on the fringe. Take someone who doesn't have a support system. No friends, alienated, loners.
Think about this. For all the random acts of violence we have you never read about a gang member doing this kind of thing. Their violence is targeted (sometimes they mistake their targets, but I've never heard of them going off in a suicidal rage). You don't have mafia hit men going nuts and walking in and shooting up the pizza place. Even those folks have relationships.
So what does all this mean? First, it means make sure you have support so you don't go off the deep end yourself. Second, it means reach out to those around you and make sure they know they are loved and welcomed. Third, if you see a loner...turn off the TV and internet, buy a flack jacket, and take them out to dinner. The life you save may be your own.

Civility in the Home

A recent article by Susan Hauser in Workforce Management suggests that incivility in the workplace may be costing the U.S. economy billions (with a "b") of dollars every year. So what is incivility? It is everything from the workforce bully to simply not saying, "hello" to your co-workers. To combat workplace incivility many consultants and organizations have sprung up to educate and work towards making the workplace a better place.
Pier Forni, a professor at Johns Hopkins, is quoted in the article and it explains his viewpoint on how to create a civil workplace. He says it comes down to the "Three R's: Restraint, respect, and responsibility." Jill Bremer, a consultant, working in the field mentioned that as casual dress has become more commonplace so has casual conversation (as opposed to professional conversation).
Think about this whole issue of civility in the workplace. How civil is your work environment? Do people recognize each other after a difficult interaction with a customer? Or...do they simply say, "whew, I'm glad I didn't get that one!" Do people say, "please" or "thank you?" As a lot of communication is non-verbal what do people's attitudes communicate? What about their tone of voice?
Most of us spend eight to nine hours a day at work. Our relationships there are a major part of our lives. Do we put in the effort to be civil at work? Now, if we do it at work, how much more should we do it at home?

The Great State of Pennsylvania

I want to briefly tell you the story of Rosetto, a small city in Pennsylvania. It was founded by immigrants 1882. The citizenry was uniformly Catholic. All the citizens shared the same faith and thus same church. It was a mining town and everyone's work life rotated around mining. Furthermore they lived in close proximity. A town with houses nearly one on top of the other similar to a small European community. Nothing about this is spectacular. Many cities share similar characteristics, but Rosetto had another factor that made it different. All of the inhabitants of Rosetto came from Roseto, Italy.

There was minimal influence from outside society. Households generally were made up of three generations. So there were tight relationships within family households. The city as a whole had close relationships focused around faith and work. These relationships sustained the citizenry not just emotionally and spiritually, but physically as well.

The proof? Extensive studies show that among the people of Rosetto it was very, very rare for anyone to have a heart attack under the age of 65. This despite poor diets, overweight citizens, and life in the mines. The people of Roseto shared doctors and hospitals with other nearby towns. After all the research eliminated cause after cause the research pointed to only one cause for the longevity of those living in the town. Relationships. Relationships have the power to heal and the power to sustain. Living life in dynamic relationship with others is what we were created for.

I learned of Rosetto in Malcom Gladwell's book "Outliers" and the website http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2376462/.

Remember what we are here for.