Civility in the Home

A recent article by Susan Hauser in Workforce Management suggests that incivility in the workplace may be costing the U.S. economy billions (with a "b") of dollars every year. So what is incivility? It is everything from the workforce bully to simply not saying, "hello" to your co-workers. To combat workplace incivility many consultants and organizations have sprung up to educate and work towards making the workplace a better place.
Pier Forni, a professor at Johns Hopkins, is quoted in the article and it explains his viewpoint on how to create a civil workplace. He says it comes down to the "Three R's: Restraint, respect, and responsibility." Jill Bremer, a consultant, working in the field mentioned that as casual dress has become more commonplace so has casual conversation (as opposed to professional conversation).
Think about this whole issue of civility in the workplace. How civil is your work environment? Do people recognize each other after a difficult interaction with a customer? Or...do they simply say, "whew, I'm glad I didn't get that one!" Do people say, "please" or "thank you?" As a lot of communication is non-verbal what do people's attitudes communicate? What about their tone of voice?
Most of us spend eight to nine hours a day at work. Our relationships there are a major part of our lives. Do we put in the effort to be civil at work? Now, if we do it at work, how much more should we do it at home?

The Great State of Pennsylvania

I want to briefly tell you the story of Rosetto, a small city in Pennsylvania. It was founded by immigrants 1882. The citizenry was uniformly Catholic. All the citizens shared the same faith and thus same church. It was a mining town and everyone's work life rotated around mining. Furthermore they lived in close proximity. A town with houses nearly one on top of the other similar to a small European community. Nothing about this is spectacular. Many cities share similar characteristics, but Rosetto had another factor that made it different. All of the inhabitants of Rosetto came from Roseto, Italy.

There was minimal influence from outside society. Households generally were made up of three generations. So there were tight relationships within family households. The city as a whole had close relationships focused around faith and work. These relationships sustained the citizenry not just emotionally and spiritually, but physically as well.

The proof? Extensive studies show that among the people of Rosetto it was very, very rare for anyone to have a heart attack under the age of 65. This despite poor diets, overweight citizens, and life in the mines. The people of Roseto shared doctors and hospitals with other nearby towns. After all the research eliminated cause after cause the research pointed to only one cause for the longevity of those living in the town. Relationships. Relationships have the power to heal and the power to sustain. Living life in dynamic relationship with others is what we were created for.

I learned of Rosetto in Malcom Gladwell's book "Outliers" and the website http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2376462/.

Remember what we are here for.

Let's get it going

So I have not done anything with this blog in years. I have good intentions about trying to keep it up and to finish my book (about faith and relationships), but without any deadlines I'm not getting it done. As I listen to the news from time to time I am constantly reminded of the poor state of our relationships. Whether it is the man who shot the judge, the nine year old boy, and the senator or the guy the year before that opened fire on his ex-wife and her family killing them all and burning down their trailer...I just feel like I've got something to offer.

It isn't that much, but it's something. My basic message is that we are made for relationships and that relationships are hard. I've got a little more, but that's the main gist of it. I think we are confused about why we are here and we expect it to be a bit easier.

Some people think we are just here until we are worm food. Or we are here to enjoy life as best we can...until we get to that worm food stage. Or maybe we are here so we can point out where everyone else is wrong. I guess people have been trying to figure out why we are here as long as...well as long as we've been here.

I think we are here for relationships. Love your God, love your neighbor, and love yourself. And it ain't easy. That's my message. Get ready for more where that came from.

Drew